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There Are Some Crazy Shit Happened On Big Old Tree In Public Park

After observing and remaining silent for over 200 years, a big old Elm tree from Highbridge Park in New York City has finally opened up and begun to tell the crazy stories from its illustrious, stagnant history.

“Yeah I’ve seen some crazy shit for sure,” said the tree, which locals have nicknamed “The Big-Ass Tree Over There” since 1862. “James K. Polk used to get drunk, sit under me, and yell at Irish people all night. That dude was a dick but he made some good points.”

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