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Some Americans Are Going To Mars, I Haven’t Been To Epcot!

President Barack Obama announced the goal for Americans to reach Mars by 2030. That’s downright unfair. You’re telling me that some Americans are planning a trip to Mars when I haven’t even been to Epcot?! What the H?

So this is the two Americas everyone’s always talking about. It really burns me up to think some Americans will probably stepping on the red chalky surface of Mars when I haven’t even seen Ellen’s Energy Adventure (a slow moving ride and film presentation hosted by daytime diva Ellen DeGeneres)?! We basically have a caste system is what you’re telling me.

Why is our nation spending THOUSANDS of dollars to send some Americans (20? 30?) to Mars when we could use that money to send EVERYONE to Spaceship Earth at Epcot? (We can’t all go the same weekend though. I call Valentine’s Day.) Spaceship Earth is better than going to Mars because it also teaches you about the history of communication!

I guess political elites don’t understand the challenges facing everyday Americans. From now on if a politician wants my vote, they better first tell me his or her plan to raise the $97 to get me into Epcot. (I don’t need airfare. I live in Central Florida.)

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